I found myself grateful today for how I've evolved over the years and pleased with whom I have become. Looking back at the scared, scattered kid I remember from high school and early college years, I feel so deeply relieved that I chose to keep working on myself.
I never stopped, I never gave up. In fact, I still continue to reflect on my attitudes and actions, clarifying what works and what doesn't and trying to shift and grow however and whenever I can. I really like that about myself.
Unlike years before, I'm not exasperated, frustrated or ashamed at who I am and how I live. Partly that's because I've changed a lot and am much more who I always wanted to be, and yet also, I've become gentler and kinder, more patient and encouraging towards myself. I like being in my own skin, knowing that I've really grown over the years, and that it's probable that I will continue to about morph and self-actualize.
It's a good place to be, especially on the eve of diving into new projects. If I've come so far, it's possible I'll be able to succeed with the new challenges I've placed before myself. I don't take all this for granted, as the challenges I've faced in this life have been considerable at times, and things could have gone either way. I'm grateful instead, hopeful and encouraged. I'm also reminding myself that resting on my laurels isn't the endpoint, only a nice regrouping moment before I re-engage.
What about you? How's your relationship with yourself? Do you trust yourself or love yourself? What stands in the way of you being able to be proud of yourself, and pleased with whom you're turning out to be?
The other day I noticed that I've slipped into a new relationship with objects I need and use on a daily basis. It's immensely satisfying. I'm grateful for their presence and usefulness and appreciative of their design and beauty.
I say this about items that I carry with me into the world eg., keys, water bottle, handbag and phone, as well as pieces that make my home life workable and comfortable eg., desk, bed, table, couch. They are in my life by design rather than by happenstance and this feels great. Same goes for the few sentimental objects that remain with me such as a tall ceramic pot my mother received from a relative visiting from Poland, or a green creamer and sugar bowl set that my mother -in-law once gifted to my ex-husband. Seeing them brightens my day.
Over the years, I have clutter cleared again and again and each iteration has brought me closer to essentiality. By now, almost everything I own has withstood careful scrutiny and is in my possession because I use it, need it or love it. Sometimes all three apply as in the case of prescription sunglasses, my short black boots or my new couch.
This means that nothing languishes, which keeps sleepy, unconscious energy from being able to settle over it or engulf it. I'm either handling the objects as I go through my days or I'm regularly laundering, dusting or cleaning them. Everything is kept in motion, used punctually and deliberately or routinely handled with love and care, and that keeps the chi around these belongings light and clear.
Also, I really like or even love what I own, and each item inspires or uplifts me. Because I try to minimize my belongings, I choose items carefully, keeping in mind not only function and utility but also design and beauty. For example, I adore my present handbag and wallet, and often receive compliments on each. They're each made well and work super well for me, and each time I touch them I'm delighted. Same goes for just about everything inside my purse, including phone, headphones, eyeglasses, keys and pens. The teas I carry in a pouch warm me and the grooming items make me smile. It's not an all-out celebration. It's a subtle, implicit phenomenon, but it's clear and I notice the uplifting effect.
An item doesn't have to be fancy or expensive for me to appreciate it, though some of my items, like my wallet, yoga mat or car, are. It has to work well and be pleasing. I use a black spiral bound college ruled 8.5 x 11 notebook for Morning Pages and it's one of my favorite possessions at the moment. Same with my satchel/ briefcase. It cost less than $40, but it's light-weight, well made and easy to use. I love it!
I also like each of my electronics- phone, tablet and computer, but as some are Android and others Mac, at one point, I'll change things out for seamless communication and consistency. For now, they work well enough for me and I'm pleased when I interact with them. I appreciate that I can use them to access information, tangibly organize my thinking and reach out to people I love. They help me and make my life better.
When you really like the things you own, you end up stamping them positively with your energy. When you interact with them the embedded imprints uplift your energy further, thus perpetuating a self-reinforcing cycle. It's like being around people who you like and whose energy makes you feel lighter, better, and generally happier. When you see them, you're primed for an uplifting interaction and when that happens that further reinforces your view of or approach to them.
Interestingly, people who are skilled at reading energies can glean that from your possessions when they energy sense them. I'm one of those, and so I can also sense the energies off my own belongings. I don't always do this consciously, and neither do you. The difference is that I'm aware of this phenomenon and thus strive to keep only the items that help me function better in the world, facilitate my expression, further my evolution or uplift my heart.
While I think that my newly discovered satisfaction stems primarily from the fact through repeated culling, I've reached a threshold level in which almost everything I interact with in my home or as I travel is something I like. It's like being in a swirling cloud of understated pleasure.
That said, I used to be very absent-minded and forgetful, and generally somewhat unorganized, and over the years, I've worked earnestly to reverse those states. Recently, I've made significant strides and that means I'm interacting with my physical environment quite differently of late. Also, I've learned to set up environments that facilitate elegant flow and that too, changes my experience amongst "things."
These changes, which I'll explore in subsequent posts, combined with the one on which I've elaborated in this post make daily life much more pleasing. I trust that when I work with many of you in upcoming sessions ior workshops, i'll be able to share that know-how and you'll be able to experience a similar sense of pleasure, ease and victory.
Clarity is essential. Without it, we stumble about instead of choosing our path.
I'm sometimes surprised how often people aren't able to articulate what's important to them, what they want or need or what their current goals and aspirations are. It's as if they're simply reacting or responding to life, never deliberating guiding or influencing its trajectory. They drift as opposed to creating.
When you clarify priorities, goals or even preferences, you take the helm. As you deliberately choose a path and commit to it, the more you spend time sensing and seeing it, the more you tend to act on the impulses that could bring that path to life. You know what you want to create or accomplish in life and you proceed.
It's pretty obvious to understand the directive power of clarity in a person who, after she clarifies her goals, works steadily towards achieving them. She decides what she wants, makes a step by step plan, and one by one accomplishes each task. She addresses obstacles that arise and steadily moves towards the vision that was clearly articulated. Without a map and a plan, it's hard to reach your destination.
However, what we tend to overlook and underestimate is the importance of articulating to ourselves our values and priorities, our needs and our desires. When we do this, we create a internal compass and by following it, we empower ourselves in crafting a life that will actually suit us.
It's quite straightforward really. If you clearly outline to yourself your values and your priorities, then that internal guidebook will inform your decision making. You'll hear a voice from within when you're deviating from your values and then you can choose whether to follow its promptings or override and disregard it. The more frequently you heed its call, the more powerful your inner sense of integrity becomes. You move in alignment with your true north.
Powerfully held inner clarity also shines outward, like a beacon within a lighthouse as it steadfastly influences the unfolding of events within its proximity. Clearly held convictions, deeply desired aspirations emanate from within. It's as if we become a radio station, broadcasting melodies or messages for those around us to hear.
For example, if kindness is an intrinsic value, you will practice it steadily. Those around you will notice the actions by which you visibly demonstrate that value. Taking it a step further, when a value or conviction has thoroughly penetrated our consciousness, people around us begin to perceive that mindset, that inner attunement even when we are not revealing it through our behavior. They will then respond accordingly.
Think back to moments when you could sense someone was trustworthy. You instinctively felt you could confide in him, knowing he would hold a safe space as you spoke and would be honorable and not gossip about what you had revealed.
When I work with clients, clarity is primary. Through the initial Clarity Session, I strive to help the person get back in touch with themselves as unique individual, unlike any other being in the world. We see what they are like, what brings them joy, what challenges them and where strengths lie. People need to be seen clearly, acknowledged for who they are. When that happens, joy flushes up from within, and they feel empowered to move out into life "as themselves!"
Launched in 2017, Clear Living Consulting addresses personal development from various angles.