Day 10! I'm still here, but truth be told, feeling a bit restless and slightly frustrated. I've never trained myself in the art of daily practice, and while on one hand, I'm pleased that I'm persevering, on the other, I'm wishing that each of these days was somehow more impactful.

I like excitement- the rush of gratification that comes when I'm running on adrenaline and I sail in with a cool, life changing solution just under the wire. I'm thinking of several instances when I've been tackling big clutter clearing projects with clients and somehow, finally, we managed to finish everything right in the nick of time. Or another situation might be leading clients through discovery breathwork sessions in which clients experience deep releases which bring them significant insight and joy. Even the weekly housecleaning which takes me several hours and leaves my home beautifully reorganized and sparkling fresh does the trick. I've pushed a bit, and at the end I can celebrate. I can see what I've earned with my effort and it makes me smile.

I guess I'm talking about intensity.  I'm realizing that I'm addicted to the dopamine rush that arrives as a reward for a job in which I've been challenged and I've delivered. It makes me high, unlike a daily meditation, walk, or juicing session, which I must say, don't quite produce that same satisfaction. These practices are more routine I guess, and one reaps their rewards over time, not immediately! 

I see! I'm wired for instant gratification and this incremental progress thing is leaving me somewhat underwhelmed. How interesting to see that! As I write, I'm reminded of Angela Duckworth's statement: "Life is more about consistency than intensity. Intensity steals the limelight." (I'm laughing as when I tried to recall the quote, I couldn't remember the word "consistency.") Consistency can be likened to the slow burn, and intensity the quick spark. This desire to experience pleasure or fulfillment without delay is deeply woven into my being and that, as I recall from the book is what Angela Duckworth sees as one of the biggest threats to grit, which she defines as passion and perseverance over time. 

This grit, she explains, is a greater predictor of success than talent is, as people who lack staying power bail when novelty wears off, and never get a chance to truly bring their talents to fruition. They stay in potentiality and promise rather than developing into actuality and  fulfillment. 

Patience will be the game changer. If I can quiet my petulant squirmy toddler self who wants "a cookie- NOW!!" and learn to resist the temptation of flopping into the couch and sinking into Netflix binges or doom scrolling Instagram, I can learn to persevere. Maybe then I can learn to fall in love with the doing itself, and bring my full presence into it in a deeply centered way. I'll develop long-term habits that over time, will produce much more substantial results than flash in pan pizazz. Now that's something I would truly appreciate!

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." - Robert Collier

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."- Jean- Jacques Rousseau

Wow- Day 9! We're moving right along here. Today I'm thinking about something I read in James Clear's book Atomic Habits, namely "The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do." In a nutshell, we deduce identity by studying behavior. Or putting it another way- if you want to know who someone is, observe what they do.

I'm slowly becoming accustomed to walking on the beach in the mornings soon after meditating. Now, mind you, I'm still refining HOW soon after meditation I head out the door, but it's going in the right direction as I'm dallying less and less and exiting more and more promptly. The goal is for the behaviors to follow fairly automatically. But the case stands that I have been building this habit of morning walking.

​My body remembers the motions of assembling all the gear, sailing out the door, down the steps and into the car, driving the 7 or 8 minutes it takes to get there, securing a parking spot, traipsing down to the the beach, dumping some of that gear, adjusting clothing, fanny back and phone, and WALKING! It has memorized the feel of my soles meeting the hard, packed wet sand, the smell of the early morning beach, the sounds of the steady ocean, the calling birds, and the human's voices greeting in passing.

I love letting the ever changing colors of the sunrise skies wash over me day in day out, and coaxing my body to move with grace, speed, and joy. It's quietly exhilarating and each day I'm out there, I'm thrilled at the luxury of having such a incredibly beautiful, expansive and uplifting place to be each morning, on some days, almost all to myself.

I've never been a regular "exerciser." Truth be told, regularity in anything has never been my strong suit, though I am assiduously working to alter that these days and months. But I have been practicing over the last few years, and each stint of semi-regularity has instructed my limbs, engaged my muscles, and trained my brain to know how to do this, and how to let my body and my lungs remember without involving too much of my thinking brain. 

I'm who I am based not on what I want, nor what I think about, but rather on what I do. SO, would it be safe to say that while I'm not an athlete per se, I'm at least regularly an exerciser? And if I keep participating in the process with steadiness, and consistency, I might not only say, "I exercise regularly," but the on its heels to also say, "Oh, actually, I'm quite fit!" Now wouldn't that be something!

One never knows, does one? 

Woke up in a bit of a funk this morning. I really don't feel like doing this today. I really don't want to exercise twice today, and I totally don't want to keep following a juicing plan. I'm craving steak and eggs, and a days of lounging, bingeing on Netflix or reading novels. I want adventure, novelty, amusement! I'm feeling constricted and bored, impatient to be done with this, unsure of whether I can indeed keep up with it for another 90 some days.

I'm self-employed, and beyond previously scheduled client appointments, my days are my own to live as I wish. While I've always admired and craved discipline, I can't say that I've actively cultivated it over long periods of time. Like others, I've been inspired before, but as many experts on personal excellence have confirmed, enthusiasm and inspiration work well in the beginning of a project, but then these fade, and we need something else to carry us further.  As I wrote yesterday, I've had to reaffirm my commitment to see this project through. I really want to develop what Angela Duckworth refers to as grit. I'll write more about that in future posts, but for today, what I'd really like to affirm that I will continue to work regardless of how I feel. 

I'm referring to the uncoupling of emotion from process. I generally work when I'm inspired and not when I'm not. I don't mean that in all things. I always show up fully for clients as I love what I'm doing. Oh but wait! It's easy to remain present and inspired in my live work because I'm so passionate about transformation so that's actually NOT a good example. Also, over the years, I've trained myself to manage my environment successfully so I'm good at staying on top of household tasks and errands and beyond initial resistance, I can engage and follow through with relative ease and success. Again, not a good illustration. I'm talking about specific aspects of my work that I find intimidating and daunting and therefore tend to procrastinate. Included in this list are writing, admin work, upgrading my technology skills and learning about marketing. Furthermore I've never really developed a regular exercise habit. So my original point holds, even though I initially thought to qualify it. I generally work when I'm inspired and I'm feeling happy about engaging.

But this morning, as I walked along the shore, I was grumpy. I hadn't wanted to leave the house and I had been procrastinating and surfing Instagram before I forced myself out the door. Last week, I had discovered that I need to execute my morning daisy chained habit stack of meditate-walk-juice promptly, otherwise the day gets away from me. While walking I was brooding over my lack of accomplishments on Sunday and feeling quite down on myself. But I kept walking. And then in the very last part of my walk, my mood finally started to life. Maybe the sweeping melodies in guided meditation to which I had been listening did the trick- maybe it was this that lifted my mood and transformed it from sullen to hopeful. After all, even though I had technically screwed up yesterday, I was still staying on point today and that was what mattered most. If I could keep practicing, deliberately engaging again and again and again, regardless of the vicissitudes of my moods, I would see improvement. And these areas that had stubbornly refused to budge might see movement and progress!

So that's it. I promise to keep doing what I need to do regardless of whether or not I feel inspired. I will think of mood as meteorology. Clouds and wind pass over the landscape. Rain or sun, wind or quiet, I will walk, I will drink (the juices) I will vlog, I will write. And day by day by day, I will improve. 

And so it is!

When I woke, I wasn't too sure whether I would be able to manage two periods of exercise with my compromised ankle, but I decided to give a go, and Voilà- no problem.  I completed an absolutely gorgeous beach walk, and just on its heels, a lively reformer Pilates class! Hurray! No more issues other than a little stiffness in the right ankle and lingering tension in the left knee, both of which will undoubtedly resolve fully in the days ahead. Unlike during my sunrise strolls, the beach was quite populated today even at 8am, with families and friend groups, locals and tourists alike enjoying their Sundays in the sun. As I walked, the various birds drew my attention, some breakfasting at the shore, some soaring through the skies or diving into the blue waters, hoping for sustenance. at Pilates. a new teacher ran the class, introducing members to new tools and new routines, both appreciated. 

It's day 7 so that means I've been practicing 75 Hard for a week so far. It's been a challenging week to be sure, and I've faltered both in my exercise plan and in my eating regime. I've decided to keep the Super Juice Me day count going, but, in keeping with the rules of the program, to return to start from scratch on 75 Hard starting Monday. I have however been deeply engaged and that counts for something.

I'm discovering two things. First, planning and organization matter. Unless I'm clear about what I need to be successful and have purchased everything beforehand I will stumble. Same goes with being organized enough temporally. I've got to plan when I'm going to do the required activities as my days start to gather momentum and it's easy to let the ball drop. A few times, I've reached evening only to realize that I haven't finished my post or I've forgotten to take the daily progress picture or I still have two quarts to guzzle.

Secondly, I'm not going to make it unless I'm fully committed. It's tempting to slack off and let things slide like I did when I ate off plan. I got cocky thinking I wouldn't be tempted by food I was making or serving other and at this stage of the game, that's naive. I have to be all in, deeply determined to succeed so that I can find both greater willpower in times of temptation and greater foresight so I can arrange my life so it's more likely I'll be successful. 

It's said that of the people who make New Year's resolutions, only 9% keep them successfully. A whopping 23% actually quit by the end of the first week. If I'm going to see a real transformation over these next 93 remaining days, I'm going to have to hunker down! I need to reassert my commitment and organize my time better. OK! Game on!

So yesterday, I ended up eating off plan and not being able to complete my second  round of exercise, so that means I have to start each of my plans from scratch, or at least I know I have to start over with 75 Hard as that's a part of the rules. If you miss any of the activities on any given day, you have to begin again. So that's what I'll do. As my ankle still needs rest today as this morning it was very stiff and tender, I'll hold back with exercising, but I will proceed with the weekly housecleaning as it'll keep me moving somewhat, and a little activity is better than none. As far as the 28 Juice Plan, I think I won't start over as I don't want to have to repeat all the juices of Week One again this week. I'll simply keep going, staying aware that day 5 was a bust but then life went on! 

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Yesterday, as I finished my beach walk, I recorded a little selfie video just after rinsing off all the beach sand. I was feeling so absolutely wonderful about all the progress I'd made this week and super uplifted by the beautiful double rainbow that the heavens had blessed  me with after I'd twisted my ankle at the water's edge. Then when I replayed it, I wondered whether I'd have the guts to actually post it. 

After all, I'm definitely carrying some extra weight. One of the motivating factors in taking on this 100 day challenge was the sincere wish to get back into what Susan Pierce Thompson calls a "right sized body" and to stay there in the future while continuing to eat well, exercise regularly and sleep enough hours. I'm wanting transformation and that's why I'm working so hard. 

But all of us, including me, need to be able to love ourselves and be our own best champions at any stage of our journeys, not with-holding love, affection, support and approval until we've reached our stated goals. Shame and guilt are truly are corrosive emotions, robbing us from warmer, more affectionate relationships with ourselves, and  instead pulling down our self-esteem and nudging us to stay hidden so no one can out us, laugh at us, or demean us when they spot our deficits.

I was contemplating all that in the morning and then horror of horrors- I ended up caving- and eating off plan! I can tell you, once the smugly complacent rebel character  that had been leading the charge faded into the background, the self-righteous critic and the petrified young lass both found voice.  While the inner critic lambasted me for my weakness, the little girl quaked in the corner beseeching me to do nothing that might invite derision and scorn. "Hide! Don't tell anyone" she moaned, squirming and hanging her head. The inner critic on the other hand scolded and upbraided me, telling me how I shouldn't have decided to post all this publicly as clearly I'm unable to sustain the challenge as my will is flimsy and weak. 

But parts work tells us that there's a calm, quiet, confident center within each of us where truth dwells and where we might return to find not only solace, but also the clarity and strength so needed to help us meet all of life's vicissitudes and rise up to weather all its storms. I've decided to be embrace my wonderful slightly chubby self, and to not worry about the social media critics who might mock me for my lumps and bumps. I'm a work in progress after all, and this fine body of mine that carries me through this world each and every day has birthed three lovely children, who are now a man and women in their thirties. It has allowed me to experience all of life's rich pageant and I refuse to shame myself into invisibility because I'm not fit just at this very moment. I'm enjoying my life, and reaching proudly towards a better self so that I might encounter and even brighter, happier, and more fulfilling tomorrow.

So I've decided to both post my little video of my smiling, happy beach self, even with lumps and bumps. And I've decided not to shame myself for stumbling on my journey and erring on my food plan Yes, it sucks as that means I'm now having to go back to the beginning of my 75 Hard because I messed up. So what? Progress not perfection baby. And if at some point I'm coaching you as you lean into your hard, I'll be able to speak with experience when I say, "Hey, it's ok. We all stumble. It's a question of picking yourself, brushing yourself off, and starting all over again!" I'll be able to be kind and loving towards you, just as I've been that way with myself. And so it is!

This morning, I was sailing out the door after meditation, psyched to hit the beach for a sunrise walk, and misty rain rushed over me as I stepped out the door! Bummer. Hm... what to do? I checked the radar and it looked like it was going to remain fairly light , as least for a while, so I decided to proceed. Why not? Let's go! ( There's a little video clip of the rain and sundry beach shots in today's photo dump on my Instagram if you want to see!) 

Day was  just dawning as I started moving and the drizzle and the breeze and the beauty made my spirits sing. "How wonderful to be outside when the rest of the world is sleeping," I mused.  Then another challenge arrived! I was walking in the water, near the shore and suddenly I stepped onto uneven ground and tumbled into shallow water, flaky sand. Ow!! The fall startled me, as pain shot through my foot and leg. Dang! It's either twisted or sprained! Another conundrum! What to do now?? 

I edged onto shore, and gently, gingerly started to circle my ankle. Definitely tender. "But can I walk??" I wondered. I stood up, discovering that it really wasn't too too bad. Definitely painful, but certainly not broken, and most likely not sprained.  I tentatively took initial steps and it seemed like I would be able to make it to the car. But wait! This is day 5! I'm committed! "I can't give up now! So does it make sense to keep moving on a twisted ankle that quite sore or do I run the risk of damaging it even further? Hm..."

After some deliberation, I decided I would continue the walk, albeit at a much reduced pace. I just simply didn't want to lose momentum! This 75 Hard challenge is actually quite challenging, and I've already completed 4 days so it makes sense then to try to "keep rolling along, singing a song," as they say- that is my ex-husband and erstwhile roommate says. And then the universe responded! A beautiful sparkly double rainbow appeared over the waters, in the west. I was so surprised, so pleased, so grateful. I've never seen a rainbow on these Florida beaches. What a kindness, what a boost! 

The day continued with sundry challenges- rearranged client sessions, snarled traffic, last minute errands, etc. 

I would like to say the day ended on a high note, but alas, the opposite is true. I ended up eating off plan in the evening! I can't say quite what did it. I think it was the lack of adequate sleep finally getting to me, the various challenges slowly chipping away at my willpower and the tempting aromas wafting off the meal I was preparing for friends- some roasted butternut squash, topped with fresh tomato sauce, served with Swedish meatballs and lightly steamed green beans dotted with butter, salt, pepper. 

My rebel kicked in and off I went. I even remember the thought with which I justified the intended course of action. "After all, this is super healthy food, and it's freshly made. A little bit would simply be nourishing," flicked through my mind and that was that. I savored the little bits I served myself- a modest scoop of spaghetti squash,  some green beans so tastefully seasoned, and a single solitary meatball. :)   Of course when evening came, I figured I'd already blown it, so why not sample some toasted Ezekiel bread with sliced turkey and several Biscoff cookies to go with my tea. It didn't help that my leg was throbbing by evening and I realized it wouldn't be a good idea to push myself into the intended yoga class. Oh well. Now I have to figure out what this means to my two consecutive plans- the 75 Hard and the 28 Super Juice Me Plan. For now it's time to rest as I am indeed fatigued from this blessed day!

Today was probably the smoothest day yet since I started this challenge. I had to keep vigilant not to slip behind on my schedule, but I stayed the course, and now it's 8pm and all is done! As I mentioned in yesterday's blog, I'd previously experienced arriving at 9pm and still having to down 3 quarts of liquid right before bed, and that is simply not fun! So today, I steered a tighter ship and pushed myself to daisy chain my morning activities, one after another- meditate for 45 minutes, walk for about an hour on the beach, and come home and prep all the day's juices. It was beautiful at the beach this morning so I did dive into the ocean to play and unwind post walk for a bit, but thankfully, I didn't blow myself out of my flow. 

After that, the next challenge centered around minding that juice schedule of 9am, 12pm, 3pm, and 6pm. I lagged once or twice by a 30 minutes, possibly 60 once, as I got caught up in some work activities, but still, I kept pace. Though it's a bit tedious setting everything up and fine-tuning all the little details right now, I'm reminding myself that building a strong foundation now will pay dividends in the future. The more dialed in I can get everything right now, the easier it'll be to sail on the grooved courses. I can't let this challenge overshadow my whole life as I still have to work and handle household tasks and I'd like to have some down time to unwind, to play, and to rest. I need to eventually become easy as it's definitely not yet that at this time. 

When I used to teach wellness in corporate settings, I'd present a workshop titled, "How to Keep from Going Bonkers," in which I introduced four pillars of wellness, specifically nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, and inner work. Healthy eating and exercise are pretty self-explanatory. For the stress reduction I taught people some basic yoga postures and guided them through brief but surprisingly effective meditations that they then could practice at home. Inner work can include therapy, coaching, journalling, prayer- whatever helps folks sort through their inner chaos and turmoil and find a way to navigate life's challenges more effectively. Nowadays, I also add sleep as a pillar as research of the last underscores its true importance in our health and well-being. 

In these 100 days, I want to reset my own pillars, as things have slipped a bit over the years, and I don't like it. I'm not feel as grounded and put together as I'd like. There's a lot I still want to experience and accomplish in the years ahead, and I want to feel strong, clear, focused and present. So much of my work with clients delves into emotional, mental and spiritual transformation, rather than physical fitness and health, but I find that when individuals bolster biological health and vitality, their ability to tackle thorny issues or daunting challenges in other areas of their lives increases exponentially.  I'll write more about that symbiotic relationship in future posts, but for tonight, I just want to state that I want this for myself now too! I really want to shore up and upgrade my own physical wellbeing right now so I'm capable and strong, primed for exploration and adventure. The best is yet to come!  

So day 3 has been a little bit easier than day 2 as I wasn't tempted to eat off plan nor was I truly super behind in juice consumption. I have reminded myself that if I want to get through guzzling 9 drinks every day, I need to make sure that my timing's clicked in, and therefore I'm experimenting with setting up a timetable. I rise at 5 and meditate for 45 minutes to an hour so I'm going to down a quart of water right away before I go walking. Upon return, it's prep time.  Once I've zipped through the juicing (some days I'm slower than others) I line everything up on the counter and snap that victory pic. Here it all is in its colorful glory, all five juices, my sweet nourishment for the day! I guzzle the shot and then it's off to the races.

By then, it's edging towards 9am so that's when I'll drink smoothie numero uno. After that it's about alternating quarts of water and successive juices or smoothies. I think it'll be best to shoot for drinking a beverage every three hours so it'll be 9am, noon, 3pm, and 6pm. Water therefore in the hours in between. Today didn't go totally according to plan but at least things are taking shape and some possibly viable structure is emerging.

Being outside is fantastic. Incredible beauty. Beach mid-day and it was awesome!! 

Day 2 is almost done. I find myself fatigued and challenged. I rose early to meditate and then made myself drive out to the beach for a morning walk instead of falling back to sleep. The sky was amazing, with big heavy gray clouds rolling through the heavens and dropping over and onto the waters. Sections of the sky appeared as bright morning blue, no gray, and in the west, huge white puffy clouds rose hundreds of feet upward where the early sunrise light made them glow in soft white light.  Such amazing light. I walked in joy.

Upon return, made all 5 drinks and set the course for the day. Kept time until mid-day and then fell behind, and now at  8:15 pm, I still have yet to finish my last water and another juice. Step by step. Photo done, as are the 10 pages of reading in a non-fiction book. 

It's very much a mindset of commitment, focus, and mindfulness. Success hinges on staying the course and persevering while I habituate myself to specific courses of action. The simpler my plans, the better, as then the sequences flow more easily. Meditate, walk, return home, juice. Repeat the next day, the next, and the next. 

I'll have to also create an evening routine as I've been staying up too late and i'm wiped the following day. It dents my willpower and makes me crave eating off plan. Perhaps I can start on Thursday evening/ Lights out by 9 pm? We'll see. 

​Good morning! Today is Day 1 of my 100 day juice journey. For the first 28 days, I’ll be following Jason Vale’s 28 Day Juice Plan, and if it goes well, I’m thinking I might simply keep going, completing several cycles in a row.

Recently, I’ve been experimenting with juicing after many years of not juicing, either as a full time plan or including juices in my daily nutrition. I looked into Joe Cross’s recipes, and liked many of them. He’s the Australian entrepreneur who filmed Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, and who authored Reboot with Joe and other books. Cross healing himself of numerous health conditions through juice fasting. I also read Anthony William’s Cleanse to Heal, and followed his Advanced 3:6:9 Cleanse to see whether I resonated with his approach. He’s called the Medical Medium and he writes extensively about health and wellness, advocating a plant based diet heavily focused on detoxification.

Eventually, I settled on Jason Vale’s plan as it’s very clear and comprehensive. The recipes are well thought out  in terms of the variety of featured fruits and vegetables and the drinks are delicious! He includes several categories of beverages including shots, juices, smoothies, and blends, and suggests adding a probiotic, some powdered greens, and Udo’s Choice or another flaxseed oil into daily rotation. He offers an excellent app that includes not only a list of the ingredients as well as instructions, but also brief demo videos showing how to make each drink.

Jason Vale recommends maintaining a regular exercise program while on the juice plan as the consistent engaged movement supports health and well-being. Benefits he emphasizes include oxygenating the blood and keeping your lymph system pumping; improving mood, memory, and sleep; keeping bones strong, improving posture and enhancing energy. That boost to your energy also lifts your spirit and helps you stay strong and committed for the duration of your program. I figured if I went in for a penny might as well go in for a pound and commit to doing a round of 75 Hard while I’m working my way through the 100 days of juicing.

In the 75 Hard Program, you agree to 5 daily practices.
1. Two 45 minute exercise sessions daily, one practiced outside.
2. Sticking to a chosen healthy eating plan, while avoiding alcohol for all 75 days.
3. Drinking a gallon of water daily,  above and beyond amounts in beverages like coffee or tea.
4. Reading 10 pages of a chosen non-fiction book.
5. Taking a daily progress pick.

I've been practicing, and I managed to get to day 11 before falling off in the most recent round.  I discovered that my Achilles heel was not planning and timing things well. I wasn't tempted to eat off plan and I wasn't averse to exercising twice daily or guzzling 128 oz water daily.  I was totally happy with the reading assignment and had no issue with a quick daily snapshot. What weakened my program was not following a schedule as I would find myself behind in my juices and waters, needing to guzzle two quarts and read 10 pages just before bed. That not only delayed bedtime, but then I ended up waking up several times in the middle of the night to pee. Not cool!

So I'm determined now to time my drinks more optimally and to get not only one exercise session done early in the morning but also the reading and the snapshots handled then as well. Then it's only follow-through with the juices and the water, and hitting up an exercise class or taking another walk. I've got this! I'm excited!!